And Still Ashes To Ashes...

54

By Frank Atanacio


Her heart would begin to race,

she could see the curiosity in his face,

he followed her down the street,

then heard him let out a long

conscious moan,

it was cold, but she felt his heat,

then he would whimper and groan,

a perfect mingling of terror and lust,

as he whispered some words,

ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

she seemed rattled,

her moment in life abused,

he looked bewildered and confused,

she wore the horror like a coat,

he put his hands down gently

and wrapped it around her throat,

he let out a sigh,

that just filled the sky,

with sweet, yet painful anticipation,

and she started to cry,

she didn’t have much to live for,

but she didn’t want to die,

he hushed and hushed,

gripped her throat and crushed,

all her emotions rushed,

death was near,

as he laid her down

and brushed her moist hair,

he removed his grip and stared,

he ran his fingers over the rounded eyelids,

and along the fringe of her lashes,

her life flickered in constant flashes,

and still ashes to ashes...

Comments

Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

I see fire, represented by anger, and ashes.

Terror and lust, what a wonderful word picture.

Now I'm going to sleep.

23:41 PM, Kathmandu

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

Thanks so much V for sharing my ashes.. :)

Sunnie Day profile image

Sunnie Day Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

Frank this was very scary to me but at the same time your descriptions of this moment was perfect. Kept me watching this scene play out but at the same time wanting it to end. Like a really good movie. Very good writing for sure.

Sunnie

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

thank you Sunnie for visiting my ashes too.. and you have a Sunnie Day and a Happy New Year

justateacher profile image

justateacher Level 7 Commenter 4 months ago

You have a way that you tell stories that keeps people readingfrom start to finish and keep them interested the whole time

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

Justateacher you are just too kind thank you for reading :)

Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

No point in asking about any dream , the way it come to you so clearly , yet to us so far fetched and unseen.

Note I am always telling you about character , but hearing about your dad , you already knew.

Another one where you the copywriter exposes one of your signature pieces , in your rare collection of works of art, from the one the only Frank ANTANACIO.

Keep up your great works.

Bless.

phdast7 profile image

phdast7 Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

Hi Frank- You are such a careful and skillful wordsmith. Which is high praise. In my family, we treasure wordsmith skills, but we all write prose and are not successful with poetry.

The mis-direction at the beginning, "ashes to ashes" was brilliant. I anticipated a traditional funeral, not the cold, sad death you led us to. Such good work.

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

you just know the deal SKY you da man!

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

PH thank you so much and it means so much coming from an Intelligent Hubber like yourself bless you :) Frank

tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan Level 7 Commenter 4 months ago

I'm with phdast7, I thought this was going to be about a funeral not a murder. You very skillfully grip the reader and lead us down the garden path so to speak. Great job.

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

thanks so much Till... and thank you for visiting my ashes :)

writer20 profile image

writer20 Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

Great murder story, creepy guy. Voted up and awewsome.

raciniwa profile image

raciniwa 4 months ago

oh, i could still feel the terror of the victim...this is kinda scary Frank...thank you for the reminder that no one is safe...predators are lurking nearby waiting...waiting..

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

thank you writer20 I also see you have my back :) bless you.. and Raciniwa good to ahve you aboard thanks for your wonderful comment..:) Frank

Rosemay50 profile image

Rosemay50 Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

Very well written, I enjoyed reading this macabre piece, it cuts deep.

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

thanks for visiting my ashes Rosemary50

Jspot profile image

Jspot 4 months ago

Frank that was intense. How the very heart of it becomes that which it already is, beautiful.

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

thanks JSpot and welcome to my page :)

Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 months ago

Gosh Mr. Frank this scared me..My heart is beating so fast.. wow... Hope I can sleep tonight.. lol.. another great one.

I voted up and awesome

Debbie

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

LOL thank you for the smile Ms Brooks :)

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 months ago

Brilliant Frank and another up up and away here also.

Take care and enjoy the rest of your day.

Eddy.

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

thank you again Eddy, have a blessed day :)

Senoritaa profile image

Senoritaa Level 6 Commenter 4 months ago

How painfully magical these lines seem:

she didn’t have much to live for,

but she didn’t want to die,

Very well done again.

Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio Hub Author 4 months ago

thank you so much again Senoritaa :) Frank

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